At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
