I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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