Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
