I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We don't watch enough power rangers
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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