I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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