she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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