did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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