May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
