you're like a bully in the Christmas story
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
