if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
