he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
