I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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