Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
