When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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