belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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