By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize