Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
