Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.