Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.