i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
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Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.