all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
