We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
