Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize
