I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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