I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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