She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
