There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
