so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Randomize
