I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
