he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
