I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
