My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
