help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
