you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
