Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
