So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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