you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
