I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I got inside last night via doggy door
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How drunk are you?
Completed.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
