Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
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i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
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I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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