tell your sister to shave her snatch
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize