you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
