don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
