That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
