I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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