I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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