I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
