My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
