Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
