you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
