All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
