was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
