WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
