after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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