I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
