Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize