new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
