I could make wine with my vomit
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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