he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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