idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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