Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
tell me about the eggs
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize