I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think your dad took our porno
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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