my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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