if i can run in heels then i can drive
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
