im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
