best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
