I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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