bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
